sb

The day I lost my son, made me question my faith.
I'm sure my faith isn't to blame for my loss but if there is a God and he is omnibenevolent and omniscient, why?
Why would he let such a thing happen?
Was it me? Did I not have enough faith in him? Was it my son?
I still don't know.
But, having my son taken away so suddenly, I'm not sure if it weakened my faith, or made it stronger.
I felt as though I had been betrayed, by my son, and especially by God.
Surely he would be the proud owner of a world without death, and there would be no such thing as hurt, or disbelief. He should let everyone be peaceful and loving, no such evil should exist.
But this is reality, and reality appears to be ugly.
Why should such a disaster be allowed by God to take place? Surely he would shake his head and say no, and stop it all.
My son was innocent. He didn't do anything to deserve this. And to have such a precious thing as life to be taken away from him, at such a young age, in an instant, I think, is wrong.

I'm not so sure what to believe any more.
But if there is a God, I won't lose faith in Him.





SB

The Twin Towers

As I turned on the news I heard the terrible news of the Twin Towers attack, as the images flashed before my eyes I kept thinking was she in there? I closed my eyes and I said a small personal pray to God praying that my beautiful Sister wasn’t in the tower, and then ran out the door sprinting down the road towards the Towers. Sprinting down the road seeing all the horrified faces of the public I had doubt that God wouldn’t  save my Sister? A tear rolled off my cheek and wiped my mind of all the thoughts of doubt, why would God disappoint me? We are both strong Catholic’s so he had no reason to kill my Sister? I could feel my feet bleeding from the blisters my shoes gave me but I wasn’t bothered I reached the Tower and lots of Police, Ambulance and Fire men were there they wouldn’t let me run in and get her so they took me to the area where the dead were. I screamed to the man. “What’s the point God has saved my Sister I know he has!” Then he replied with “Miss I’m sorry but you have to check.” As I walked towards the dead I was praying out loud holding my Rosary Then I saw her I saw her crushed… I fell to my knees and cried “Why!” I screamed “Why!” I saw the bracelet that I gave her for her 18^th, that was the only thing not crushed it said ‘Believe in yourself and God and he will save you when in trouble’.

6 Months Later

The news was still talking about the disaster it was just reminding me of Gods betrayal! We had done nothing wrong? I had never questioned God? So why did he punish me by killing my only family? I had tried to forgive God my talking about it to Priests and Nuns but none of them could change my mind.

Since that day I have never prayed or sung to God or to any God from any religion I don’t believe in it anymore as my one and only God had gone and betrayed me like this…

IB