sb

The day I lost my son, made me question my faith.
I'm sure my faith isn't to blame for my loss but if there is a God and he is omnibenevolent and omniscient, why?
Why would he let such a thing happen?
Was it me? Did I not have enough faith in him? Was it my son?
I still don't know.
But, having my son taken away so suddenly, I'm not sure if it weakened my faith, or made it stronger.
I felt as though I had been betrayed, by my son, and especially by God.
Surely he would be the proud owner of a world without death, and there would be no such thing as hurt, or disbelief. He should let everyone be peaceful and loving, no such evil should exist.
But this is reality, and reality appears to be ugly.
Why should such a disaster be allowed by God to take place? Surely he would shake his head and say no, and stop it all.
My son was innocent. He didn't do anything to deserve this. And to have such a precious thing as life to be taken away from him, at such a young age, in an instant, I think, is wrong.

I'm not so sure what to believe any more.
But if there is a God, I won't lose faith in Him.





SB

The Twin Towers

As I turned on the news I heard the terrible news of the Twin Towers attack, as the images flashed before my eyes I kept thinking was she in there? I closed my eyes and I said a small personal pray to God praying that my beautiful Sister wasn’t in the tower, and then ran out the door sprinting down the road towards the Towers. Sprinting down the road seeing all the horrified faces of the public I had doubt that God wouldn’t  save my Sister? A tear rolled off my cheek and wiped my mind of all the thoughts of doubt, why would God disappoint me? We are both strong Catholic’s so he had no reason to kill my Sister? I could feel my feet bleeding from the blisters my shoes gave me but I wasn’t bothered I reached the Tower and lots of Police, Ambulance and Fire men were there they wouldn’t let me run in and get her so they took me to the area where the dead were. I screamed to the man. “What’s the point God has saved my Sister I know he has!” Then he replied with “Miss I’m sorry but you have to check.” As I walked towards the dead I was praying out loud holding my Rosary Then I saw her I saw her crushed… I fell to my knees and cried “Why!” I screamed “Why!” I saw the bracelet that I gave her for her 18^th, that was the only thing not crushed it said ‘Believe in yourself and God and he will save you when in trouble’.

6 Months Later

The news was still talking about the disaster it was just reminding me of Gods betrayal! We had done nothing wrong? I had never questioned God? So why did he punish me by killing my only family? I had tried to forgive God my talking about it to Priests and Nuns but none of them could change my mind.

Since that day I have never prayed or sung to God or to any God from any religion I don’t believe in it anymore as my one and only God had gone and betrayed me like this…

IB

Natural Disaster- Hurricane

Entry 1

Dear Diary,

I am still hiding in our shelter, alone, cold and worried. I am waiting for the storm to pass; I can still hear the wind howling through what’s left of our village. I don’t know where my family is, I think I might have lost them.  For two hours I have been praying solidly, never in my life have I prayed so much. I pray repeatedly in my head ‘Please let them be safe’.

I was in the garden bringing in the washing  when the wind picked up, hair flapping in the wind, I stared up into the sky, and the sky was dark and gloomy, as if it was going to rain. Hurriedly I collected the washing in my basket and started to walk into the house. When suddenly something caught my eye, I stopped and stared open mouthed, I dropped my washing basket. I stood glaring at the ugly twister in the distance; it was dark and grey picking up whatever it could find on its travels. Bundles of hay started to roll towards it and that’s when I knew this was a matter of life or death. I ran inside and up the stairs to find nothing but empty rooms ‘Where are the children?!’ I gasped. I ran from door to door praying to find them. I couldn’t find my husband, Harry, either. Realising they were nowhere to be found, I gathered the items which I would treasure forever. I scooped up a family photo of me and my parents and one of my children, husband and I; and my large pot of money that I stored under my bed for safe keeping. Sprinting down the stairs I glanced around one last time to check if there was anyone there. I bounded out the door to try to get to the shelter.

Battling against the wind, dust and dirt flew into my eyes which made the situation even worse, I could barely see. ‘Almost there’ I thought to myself struggling towards the opening of the underground shelter. A few steps away from the doors, I reached out, straining to clench the handles. I took a few steps more and flung the doors open. I clambered in, the doors clattering in the viscous wind; it was a fight to close them because of the strong wind. Yet I managed. I sat down at the table in the corner of the room, considering whether to go out there again to find my family, but I came to a conclusion that I would not help as the wind was getting stronger and stronger and I would barely get anywhere because of the wind and I would most likely and up losing my life as well. So I sat for two hours praying solidly.

Entry 2

I fell asleep in the shelter, when I awoke I found that the hurricane had passed. Slowly and consciously I stepped out of the shelter to find that my house had been torn from where it used to stand. Tears fogged up my sight. I blinked to let the tears escape, and also to make my vision clearer, looking across land where houses used to stand happily, I saw the beautiful land which it once was, turned to a horrid wasteland. Where torn off parts of houses lay, and a child ran across the dry land screaming for her mother. I ran over to her and held her hand, I told her that we would find her mother and not to worry. I took her to a safety local shelter where she was re-united with her mother. With tears of joy streaming down their faces, they were over the moon to be together again. I turned to find the information desk, to ask whether my family had signed in. But to my utter dismay the office lady said there hadn’t been anyone who had signed in with my name.

At this point I turned to God and said ‘Why?, Why would you let this happen?’ Floods of tears ran down my cheeks. I realised they were gone. ‘If you are so strong and powerful, why did you let this happen?’ Since then I have doubted my faith and belief in God.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

H.H

Unexpected earthquake

One day I was farming my crops in the field, the sun was out and it was baking, I could feel my back burning while I was working away. Then suddenly, I saw a thick fog slowly appear before my eyes. I ignored it. Then, a few hours later the sky began to dim and I heard a huge bang, I began to get nervous. At first this noise lasted for only a few seconds, and then the sound became longer and lasted for minutes, the noise was similar to the sound of a freight train roaring past. By this time I was wondering away from the field back to my house where all my family were. When I was at home I could feel the ground shaking slightly, my lamp fell from my desk and by this time I knew this was the start of an earthquake. Some of my relatives were crying, I tried to comfort them, as I knew what I needed to do, so I shouted, “Everyone! Get under the table! Hold on to the table legs! Quick!” I’m sure by this time, everyone was panicking. The loud noises were drumming into your head, getting longer, louder, we all held hands and began to pray. All of my family were Catholics, so hopefully our strong beliefs were enough to save us all. But it wasn’t. Unfortunately, my mother, two brothers and cousin were killed. We all prayed to God as long and hard as each other, so why didn’t God save my family? My mother was the strongest believer I’d ever known and if she couldn’t be spared, I had no hope, no faith in God anymore, from this day. Because if God is as powerful as he says, why didn’t he stop the earthquake immediately? And if God is so loving, why did he let one of his strongest believers die? And if God knows and sees everything that’s happened and about to happen, surely he could have stopped this? Right?

I.M.

Tornado!

My house has been demolished by the tornado. It has been 9 days and I am still looking for a place to stay. I have been dying of thirst and hunger.

A little girl, about 6 or 7 asked me for a little bread but I told her that I won't have enough for myself. She started to beg and plead but I refused to give her any. She then walked away and sat down in the corner to pray. It got dark and everyone made a bed with the scraps around them. The next morning it was day 10. Another day without any food and water because I finished it yesterday. I got up from the sidewalk and went to look for food that anyone had. As I approached a corner a little girl had some bread and water. It was the same girl that came to me for bread. I asked the little girl "Where did you get the bread and water from?" she said "From God."

I started to judge my faith. What God is this that gives miracles? Is this my God? When came back to where I was sitting before the girl came to me and offered me bread and water. She said God doesn't want everyone to die, and smiled. I started to pray like others were doing and asked God to help me. The next day I found a book next to me. It said bible across the front. I flicked through the pages and landed on Matthew chapter 14. A verse 13 and 21 was highlighted. I read it. It was surprising how God uses someone to show people what he can do. Today I pray every day about what I’m thankful for and everything I have. If this tornado didn't happen I would never have found God and what possible things he can do.

SO

The day  that all hell broke loose

Exactly a year ago today the World Trade Centre was brought to destruction after a terrorist group reached their aim which was to kill as many American Citizens as possible. The day it happened I was in school in the middle of a chemistry class learning about what elements react better with others. Suddenly my principle comes into class and tells us that there is a terrorist attack on the WTC and the Pentagon.

Before that day I didn’t realise how much I take for granted.  I was so scared because I knew that my father was in the World Trade Centre.  My mother and I had no contact with him what so ever there was no mobile signal.   We were evacuated from school we were all huddled onto the tennis courts to be registered.

 Everyone around me was crying and screaming. There was white smoke everywhere that covered the roads like a blanket. I started panicking and then for the first time in my life I reached out to God, I discovered a faith that I never thought I would ever connect with. I suppose when you really want something you’ll do anything to make sure that everyone you love is safe.

That afternoon when I my mum and I were waiting to hear from my dad, we got a phone call saying that my father was dead. They said he was on the 37^th floor and he wouldn’t have made it out anyway. If God is so omnipotent, all powerful then why didn’t he stop the bombers? If God is also omniscient, saw and knew what was going to happen then why didn’t he save my dad? If God is all loving why did he let the other people in the building lose their lives in such a tragic way?  What was the point in praying to God when I he didn’t do anything to help. He just let it all happen. Even today I struggle to reconnect with God, maybe it has something to do with all that happened on September 11^th 2001.

This is a moral evil as the terrorists were responsible for all of those deaths and innocent lives lost.

 

 

KS

 

 

 

Tornado

Dear diary,

At roughly 1 pm yesterday afternoon disaster struck my beloved hometown. A life changing tornado hit my town destroying anything and everything in its path. This devastation will never be forgotten as it has caused so much pain and suffering to this town. The tornado took so many innocent lives but why? 

I’m afraid to say that I seriously doubt my faith, I thought God was omnibenevolent, I thought that he loved us? Why would someone who loves every single one of us so much let this town suffer so severely? Maybe God doesn’t love us enough to save us from terrible disasters. I’m also wondering why God didn’t save the lives of those who were praying not to be harmed, although he did answer my prayers when I needed him so I’m very thankful for that. I’m deeply questioning why God is making this town struggle to put money together to help rebuild the town when he knows that we were already struggling with fixing the town up before the tornado hit it. I’m aware that everything God does happens for a reason so maybe this was a sign for everyone in the town to come together as a community but I still can’t get over that the fact that God claims he loves us but yet he didn’t save us from the tornado. I still have faith in my God but I have to say that I’m uncertain of how big my faith currently is.

In this world today there’s so much pain and suffering that many humans have to endure from but this tornado that this town has suffered from is natural evil and this has had nothing to do with humans.

FS 

When God became my Nothing

As Roman Catholics we believe that God is omnipotent in that he is all Powerful, omniscient in that he is all knowing and is omnibenevalent in that he is all seeing. So tell me, if he is supposed to be omnipotent, he would be able to stop this tragedy and destruction of peoples lives. If he is supposed to be omnibenevalent he could see the chaos and suffering but he just stood and watched? And if he is omniscient he knew what was happening and still done nothing about it.

It happened on boxing day 2004, the day I lost the rest of my family forever - and I couldn't do anything to try and save them as I searched and searched not giving up when my legs were practically ripped to shreds. But God could. The whole of my life I have been a Catholic. Yes, I have done things that I have regretted but surely not that much to have this happen to me. I have gone to church every week, I have prayed to God on a regular basis, I have thanked Him for all the good that has happened to me so why would he just stand by and watch me and millions of others suffer like this?

I sat there isolate on the hard hospital bed with bruises on my arms, legs, torso and head. There are several nurses rushing around my body frantically trying to fix broken parts. But they couldn't fix my broken heart. My parents were good people. They were everything to me and God was everything to them. How could he do this to them? They did nothing wrong, they did not deserve this. They believed they were children of this God so God left his children to die? They loved him with all their heart but obviously he did not love them at all.

Yet still, whilst I searched for my beloved family, I fell on my knees tightly shut my eyes and prayed over and over again to what I have thought my whole life was the one and only God, the one who could help me. So where was this God? Was he listening to me pour my heart out begging him for my family to be alive and just stood there? Or does he even exist? I felt like I have lived my whole life believing in someone who does not even exist. He was supposed to be my saver and redeemer when in the end He was nothing.

ST

Crashing Waves

Crashing Waves

Dear Diary,

 You cannot believe what I have been through, the horrendous vision of people drowning in front of your very own eyes, truly unbearable. On that tragic day, I was a victim of the large tsunami that crashed through the town and claimed lives of many citizens. 

I was lucky- or should i say blessed to be one of the several survivors. It all started when I was at school in Spring, the fresh new cherry blossom trees were incredible .That's when I thought, God had blessed us with a beautiful world that he had created for us. Soon enough, I arrived at class in my homeroom. Luckily I was just in time, I came in just before the bell had rung. Before you knew it, the whole class shuffled into their seats including myself, Kimura Suzuki, most people call me Kim for short. Matsuoka-sensei, my homeroom teacher, arrived early as usual- He didn't like to keep the class waiting.

After a few minutes, an earthquake struck unexpectedly, "What?!" The teacher shrieked, "Hurry get under your desks!" the ground shook dangerously as everyone rushed beneath their desks to aid themselves.Every now and then the earthquake stopped, then struck again. It kept repeating an indistinct order, I knew I didn't have anything to worry about. I am faithful to my lord, my God, so I believe that he is there to protect me. But suddenly, the sky grew duller than usual. There was something off about the eerie atmosphere of the weather. My classmate's eyes widened as they glared out the window, "RUN TO THE ROOF NOW."  Someone shouted, noticeably a prefect. Without a complaint, everyone rushed towards the roof, the waves immediately crashed through the windows. It's a tsunami.

 You could hear the sound of glass shattering as I ran up the stairs, this was the kind of thing you would hear from movies but no, it was as if reality slapped me in the face. Soon, all the students arrived on the roof, everyone's mouth gaped open as they watched the debris flow endlessly, taking in lives. My mouth dropped, my mind went completely blank. All I thought about was my family, I dropped to my knees as I watched in horror. The school building was large enough to evacuate to the roof, but, everything else. Homes were swept by the constant wave of contaminated water. 

What happened to the beautiful world that God had created? This is what I got for being naive, forgetting about the imperfections of this troubled world. What are your plans Lord? I almost feel shameful for questioning my faith. Natural Evil is as worse as moral evil. Both causing people pain and suffering.  Doubts began to build up within me.

I want to continue to believe in God, I want to keep my faith strong but it can get confusing. But I can't help questioning, where was God when we needed him the most?

P.S.

  

Tornado

Dear diary,

Today is the anniversary of the tornado. This time last year a massive and powerful tornado,   hit Oklahoma at exactly 1pm. It caused nothing but destruction. The tornado was the highest winds ever found near the earth's surface .The deadly tornado killed 258 people!

It is only now that I am beginning to question my faith. At the time I was relieved that my family and I were not harmed. I was relieved that God had seemed to answer my prayers. But what about the hundreds of other people that were killed in the tornado. Why didn't God answer their prayers? I understand that everything God does is for a reason; maybe he wanted people to show their goodness after the tornado, by helping the town recover and setting up charities. But I cannot understand why God, who is omnibenevolent, would want to bring so much suffering to the humans he created and loves.

There is so much evil and suffering around the world. From illness, abuse, broken relationships, betrayal, crime and death; to earthquakes and tornados. I still believe that God exists but I am just really confused. I will never really understand why God doesn’t seem to be there when we need him the most.

MO 

The Earth quake

Dear diary,

Last night a tragic event struck my whole country, leaving us hopeless with everything lost. All of my possessions, work and friends were gone. I had never experienced such pain, fear and sorrow in my whole life, I couldn’t help but question why God wasn’t there in this time of need. I prayed every night that this earthquake would end but God didn’t seem to respond to me. The earthquake wiped out most of my village leaving me questioning my faith in God, why would he do this to me? As a catholic I believe that god is omnipotent, omniscient and omnibenevolent but this can’t be true after what happened.

If God is meant to be all loving why did he do this to me and my family? What the church says every week doesn’t add up when events such as these happen very often. I have always been a strong believer in God but after what happened I can’t see me ever going back to the catholic faith. Some people say that everyone must die and God has a plan, but why would he make us die under these circumstances? Everything I have is gone and God hasn’t done anything to help me through these difficult times. I will carry on praying in hope that he will eventually answer my prayers.

H.R

The night i lost everything

Dear diary

The tsunami struck last night. There was a loud thundering crash and the windows smashed open I was so scared. I am with my sister stranded hanging on to a tree that has fallen down.  I have lost everything: My home, my belongings, my family, and my friends I don’t know what to do. As a catholic I believe that Godis omnibenevolent, omnipotent and omniscient but if he is all of these then where was he today when I needed him? Where was he when for once in my life I most needed his help? I got washed away with the current of the sea. Trees and buildings collapsing and people injured everywhere. I saw this one little boy who was crying for his mum as I made my way over to him I got washed away again by the sea. I was panicking. What if I never saw my little brother again and what if he is on his own right now.  Why didn’t god save me or anybody else? If God is omniscient then he should be able to see what is happening. He should be able to see this tsunami happening. I don’t understand why he won’t answer my prayers when I have believed in him all my life. The tsunami has put my belief in god to the test as I have a wonderful family however he did not answer my prayers and save my family,  I still haven’t found the rest of my family. I am scared and worried and I don’t know what to do. this is natural evil as a tsunami is a natural thing that happens in life although it is a terrible thing and it should not exist.

AS

When faith is put to the test

My Faith Put to the Test

We Catholics believe that God is omnibenevolent (all loving), omnipotent (all powerful) and omniscient (all knowing). But today it felt like God wasn’t there at all. But maybe he did know what was happening. Maybe he left us alone because he knew he didn’t have enough power to save anyone. Like it was just by chance I survived, not that I can say the same about my family. Everyone is gone and I’m alone.

I sat on the roof of my house as it was swallowed by the water that filled our whole town and probably further. My parents and brother were stuck inside the house. Why didn’t God save them? If he is omnipotent like we believe, surely he should have had enough power to save everyone and also have had enough power to stop this flood from happening in the first place. We believe that God in omnibenevolent, but if he is all loving why are my family not with me. They were good people they did nothing wrong yet they’re gone.

I’ve lived my entire life as a catholic. When I have prayed I’ve never asked God for anything. I didn’t know how. Yet I knelt down and began to ask God for forgiveness and that he would end this suffering. But minutes later still nothing changed. I don’t believe my family or anyone in my town has ever sinned. We’re not greedy we live simple lives, yet when we ask God for one thing he doesn’t help. I don’t understand. I felt like I wasted my life on my religion.

Then I remembered what I read in the bible just a few days ago. Jesus said “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life” (John 8:12). This is saying that if we believe in God and Jesus then everything will be better in the end. The whole path seems dark when we believe God isn’t there but if we believe again then we will see the light at the end of the tunnel, and that was true.

As I woke the next day a found that things began to clear up the water was mostly gone and the sun was shining brighter than before and I realised that God does care. God is everywhere. He is always looking out for us and yesterday he was guiding all the people to heaven where they could look out for us as well as God. Then one day I hope he will guide me on that journey to heaven as well. I will always trust in God, even when things go wrong I know he will make them right in the end.

 

EN 

The Tsunami

It was the middle of the night when I heard a loud knock at the door, a few minutes later my mum rushed into the room and got me out of bed.  We were being evacuated. A couple of minutes after that we were all running as fast as we could way from the sea front but the water had gone. Then there was this massive sound like something rushing up behind us I did not know what was happening. Suddenly my parents had gone and the water was getting closers and closer. 1 hour later I was on the roof of a house all by myself. No one could hear me. I wanted my family. But I stayed there until someone came to rescue me. Days later I was in a rescue centre, I knew no one and I stared to wonder if i would ever see my family again and if God even existed. I mean why would he have let this happen to all these people? Why if he is so powerful and loving did he let this happen to me and my family. I never saw my family again after that night and all I could think about is why did God let that happen to me.

EP

Today was the funeral of my dad. It was an emotional day and I still can’t quite get my head around it. My dad was murdered last week and none of us no why this happened. Throughout the mass all I could think about is God, why did he do this to my family? If God he is so omnibenevolent then why did he do this to my Dad? He didn't deserve to die. My faith has always been quite strong I have been bought up in a catholic family however after what happened I don’t know if I can get past this.

What happened to my dad was definitely moral evil which is why I don’t think God could have prevented this really. I do believe in God still but I just want some evidence. 

CC

Where is God when i need him?

Dear diary,

Another woman in my village died today due to the drought. I found it hard to watch.  The look on her children’s eyes would make anyone cry. They buried her outside their house. Her children are orphans now. They have no one. How could God do this? He took an innocent woman away from her children? This drought has lasted for months. When will it stop? I’m sure I will be next, the only water we had is running out. We have no food to eat as the crops aren’t growing. Our village will be wiped out soon if we don’t have one droplet of rain. Everyone is waiting to die now. I give all of my food to my children as I can’t bear to see them starve. But it’s running out. The next village is miles away. How will we get there?

Where is God in our hour of need? We need him to save us from this disaster that can only get worse. Everywhere I go I see ill and sick people. It’s too late for him to save us now; too many people have died due to this drought. Why won’t he save us? I have been loyal to God all my life and this is how he repays me? I have lost my closest and dearest friends due to this drought. I now look after all the children in the village who have lost their parents. I try to feed every mouth I can but I don’t always manage to feed my own.

God has become unknown to me now. I don’t know who he is. He doesn’t care, like I thought he did. If he really did exist why hasn’t he helped me? After all those years of praying and thanking him he hasn’t done anything for me. I know I will die from this soon but I will try and stay alive for as long as I can to see my children. I will have to try and make the most of it while I can.

LS

Why did something so tragic have to happen to an ordinary person like me? Exactly a week today my mother was sadly taken away from me. What started out a normal day, most definitely ended in a disaster! I was taken out of class and was told that my mother was in hospital and soon found out that she had been stabbed numerous times and eventually died after losing too much blood. My mum always told me to believe in God and that he is a loving and caring. If this is true, then why would he let the most important person in the world to me get taken away from me just like that? If he is so loving and caring as my mum said he is then he should have stopped this from happening. He just let a good person die for no good reason and let me be in agony because of it. I don’t think I can do what my mum told me to do and carry on believing in God after what he has put my mother and I through. I think it’s time that I stop trusting him and just take it that there is no such thing as God. He obviously does not exist otherwise he wouldn’t have let such a traumatic event happen to me. This is a natural disaster that God should have been able to stop.

ON

Tsunami Terrors

One moment I was peaceful, my two little boys in my arms, playing happily on Holiday as any family should. Next moment, we were being washed away by a huge wave no one was expecting. Our holiday home was now flowing down the road, crashing into nearby trees which began to fall on top of us. I’d never been so scared before. My two little sons didn’t leave my arms luckily, and we escaped with only a few cuts and bruises, but that does not change how many lives were lost.

I prayed all throughout the terror, I asked God to save them, but so many lives were still lost and so I wondered, where was God when my husband and sons were at risk of death? Why didn’t he prevent this?

I have prayed all my life and believed God was there for me, I always believed he was omnibenevolent, that he was all loving, and when I had my sons I could have sworn I felt him beside me and so my faith became ever stronger, but since the incident, I fear I may have started to seep into Agnosticism. I believed God was omniscient meaning he was all seeing and knowing, but if this is true, how could anyone, even God, bear to let the dreadful Tsunami happen, bear to let all these lives end?

I do think I still love God, and I thank him for giving me my two wonderful sons, but the horror of the Tsunami my family was forced to witness has caused part of my faith to be ripped away because I cannot help but question where my Lord was when I needed him the most.

 ~ RJ

Earthquake in Japan

I remember walking to class that morning with Kagami and Satsuki. It was meant to be another ordinary day at school until disaster stuck.

Suddenly, the ground began to groan and shake vigorously and I was struggling to keep balance. Kuroko's loud screech echoed across the classroom. I could hear my heart beat through my ears. The windows shaking, looking as if they were going to explode. My teacher commanded us to take cover under the desks. They protected our heads from the falling ceiling. At this moment, I wish that I paid attention to our several earthquake drills.

The only thing I could think about was my family. Are they safe? I was praying for their safety, whilst everyone was crying and cursing God for this terrible disaster.

My mother always told me to trust God and not to worry about material things as I know that God will make a way out of it. I was surprised that my faith was this strong despite what was going on around me, at that time.

Everyone was crawling around to be with their friends but I had a feeling in my heart that God told me to stay and just trust in Him and pray. Just as they ran to their friends, the ceiling began to crumble and crack. I watched in horror as it fell on my classmates.

I was speechless, but I remember to thank God for saving my life and as I later found out my family's safety too in broken Japan.

FP <3

Earthquake of Japan

15th October 2013. The day my life changed. The day I’ll never forget. The falling buildings, the children screaming, people running in all directions. My house is gone. Memories, possessions, everything. Gone. Why did God let this happen to? I prayed to him every night, I told him all my problems, I went to church whenever I could, and most of all, I was a good person. I was a good Catholic. Why didn’t he help me? God is meant to be all – knowing, so he knew it was happening, yet he just sat and watched me suffer. He watched my family and friends die. He let them die. He watched them get hit by flying pieces of metal and glass. He was meant to protect them, protect me. He’s meant to be loving, yet he didn’t even try to save me. I still hope that theyre alive somewhere, I still believe, deep down, that they’re somewhere searching for me. But then again I loose hope. I don’t know what to think anymore. I will never be the same again. 

15th October 2013. The day I lost everything. Family, friends, possessions. And now my faith. 

ES

The day that turned a life around

Dear diary,
Today everything has changed. My life will never be the same again, it will never be what it was before. I am darkened by the thought of what will become of me and by mum. I don't understand whey god has allowed this to happen to my community. Luckily I am okay, but my mum is it great danger! A flood knocked down our entire village and hundreds of people are missing and my mum is too. I am soaked I have just come back from looking for my beloved my mum. I don't know if I can ever go back to church after this. If  God is so powerful why did he let this happen and make my mum suffer, she's  a wonderful person, I just don't understand! Also if God is all loving,then why is he letting all Of us suffer, when we cause no harm and we all work really hard. I don't know who to turn to now, since my mum us missing and God has turned his back on me. My mission is to save my mum! god could have stopped this but he didn't! Be back soon off to try and find my mum. I hopes he is alive or I will not go back to church ever again. However if she is alive I will deepen my faith and I will be enter ally grateful to God. I go to church regularly so it will be hard but even harder to forgive God.


Dear diary,
My faith is stronger than ever before I pray before I go to work, I guess you think I found my mum. We'll sadly I never did. But I couldn't have got over it if it wasn't for God. So after all it has strengthened my faith. I pray everyday to find my mum. But I try to except it now. I also go to church once or twice a week. I truly believe that God does the best for us and i M very grateful to him and he has made me a stronger person.

By kh

Tsunami

The tsunami just hit us about an hour ago and I can’t find my mum or dad, it’s just me and my younger sister. She won’t stop crying, but she’s also praying. I’ve given up. How can she still be asking for his help, he made this happen.  He is the one who makes everything happen and apparently everything happens for a reason, well what could this reason possibly be. My parents are probably dead so there better be a good reason. Isn’t God meant to be omniscient, well if he is wouldn’t he be able to see what was going on and help us. Instead we are stuck trying to find shelter and food. Our house is destroyed and so is everything we own. God please can you help us, if you’re really there...

 

AR

volcano disaster

Volcano

It was an ordinary day until the worst had happened. I heard the neighbours screaming outside my window, I had no idea where to go. My mum rushed into my room and had told me to leave as quickly as I could. I had no time to pick anything up, I had to go. I could see the lava pushing itself up through the volcano, coming down into our streets rapidly. I ran as quickly as I could, my mum was far behind me, and she could not keep up. I had turned around to see she was nowhere to be found. The neighbours and I stopped to find a shelter we could hide under. We all prayed hoping all are loved ones would show up, my mother never did. I had lost everything; all I had was a few family members left. So many people died from no-one’s fault it was so unfair. Our town was ruined and so were all our belongings.  I started to question god’s existence, if he had all this power why did he not help me? My family and I all had a strong faith before this event occurred; now we have no faith. I will never know why god did not stop this natural evil.

 

KOD

Hurricane Katrina

In august 2005, my life changed forever. A deadly and destructive hurricane hit the United States. It stormed through my village, demolishing people’s homes and killing around 1,833 people in its path. I had never experienced a hurricane before so to see one do so much damage was daunting. All I could think to do was pray to God, to help me and give me some hope. Sure i had been confirmed and went to church every so often, but i had never really been a strong believer in God. I just prayed for God to have mercy on me and everyone around me. I prayed for a long time but it did not work. After about 5 hours, New Orleans had been completely taken off the map by the hurricane and the flooding. My village was torn to pieces; all that remained was rubble and lifeless bodies. I couldn't believe that in my time of need, God had not answered my prayers. Sure, God helped me to get through the hurricane but what about everyone else? What about all those people that deserved to live? All those people who prayed to God 3 times a day and went to church every Sunday? Why had he not helped them?

My faith was never strong before but since the disaster, I am done with my faith. God did not help those people through the toughest point in their life. God is meant to be all loving but yet he let all them people lose their lives to something He was powerful enough to stop.  

J.K

Tsunami

It started out as a normal day; we had never seen anything like it before. Our family had no idea what to do when we were told to evacuate the area. We decided to get higher above the ground, so we got in the car and stared driving. I was so scared because I didn’t think that god would let something as terrible as this happen to anyone. The tsunami destroyed everything in its path, it got closer to our car can soon I couldn’t see or hear anyone when I called out to them. I managed to get on top of a roof of a house. As I looked around I couldn’t understand why God would let this happen as I was always told that he was all powerful and all loving so I don’t understand why he didn’t stop this from happening and save the village. This made me question if he really does exist.

LS

Tsunami

Tsunami

There was this Tsunami last month, it destroyed everything. Everywhere was ruined. It started as a normal day sunny and quiet then the wind picked up and we got told to evacuate. I grabbed my 2 children and my husband and we got in the car a started to drive to a place on a higher ground.  We could see the wave in the distance behind us…. It was getting closer; I told the children not to worry everything would be fine. Within seconds we was washed out of the car I managed to grab one of my children Tommy aged 5, we was getting pushed under water and pulled with the direction the water was going. I yelled for my other children sally who was 8 and my husband but I got no reply. I grabbed onto a tree and pulled us up onto it. The water was everywhere it looked like the sea with things in it. You could just see the top of the houses. I yelled again for my family and I got no reply. I knew that I had to find a safe place so I put my child on my back and started searching around. I couldn't find anyone. I wondered why god let this happen! if he loved me I would find my family and if he loved everyone then why did he let this happen to us, he has the power to stop it so why hasn't he. After this happened I didn't know if God really existed. At this point I didn't know what I was supposed to believe. It was a natural disaster but how god could let something like that happen-is unreal. 

G.C 

The Volcano

I had everything I could ever want; my family, friends, a house, money and I had all this in our paradise. Our paradise however had one flaw, the volcano. Yes it's seems crazy now that we would build up our whole town and our whole lives right next to a volcano but it had been dormant for over 300 years and well it couldn't possibly erupt after 300 years of dormancy, could it? We were so very wrong, but what do people know, we shouldn't have to know when we have a omniscient, all seeing/all knowing, God. I always believed that if anything traumatic happened God would be there to protect us, I'd prayed to him every morning and night since I could talk but where was he when I needed him on the fateful day that changed everything?

When I awoke that morning nothing was different or strange but by midday it became very dark, never in our lives had we seen it dark before the sun had set, something was wrong. Then we heard it, there was a great bang and clouds of ash billowed up into the air, the evacuation sirens sounded and police frantically knocked on doors. She was going to blow and we didn't know when but we had to get out fast. We each grabbed a small bag or holdall and crammed in important possessions such as photos, jewelry, etc and made our way to the other end of the Island where my sister lived and she welcomed us with open arms. Just a few days after, the volcano blew and wiped out our homes, our crops, the airport, the shops, and well everything. Everything we had worked hard for was gone.

We couldn't go back to even see what was left because it was too dangerous, my happiness was wiped away along with our town. Every night I continued to ask God for something, anything, a sign just to let me know he was listening but nothing.If there was a God this natural evil wouldn't have been imposed on my family, my friends, and my village. If God was omnipotent and omnibenevolent like they say he is he would have loved us and been powerful enough to stop our pain but he didn't. Now we have nothing and I can't believe there is a God anymore.

MHG

Let me pray, mamma

The amount of suffering she had been through that day was unbearable. As I picked her frail body off the floor I could see the cuts and bruises left on her skin where he had beaten her. I told her how everything would be okay, how God will see that we are good people, how he will always love us no matter what. She looked at me with her glazed brown eyes. I could see her pain, I wanted to help her but the only way was through her believing that God is the answer. Carrying her down the smoky corridors with chambers to each side, she let out a faint squeal where I had touched a fresh open wound down her side, I hate seeing her like this, but what can I do with such little hope in living? How could we go on like this? 

I held her close and pushed past the men puffing smoke into the clammy air, covering her with my scarf so people couldn't see her tears. I told her that if you believe God will save you then he will come, she asked me, 'mamma, if all I see is the dark and all I feel is hurt, when we will God help me find the light and feel the warmth?'

I began to run through the cramped spaces in the corridors but kept my footsteps quite as to not arouse suspicion from the soldiers. I had no shoes anyway so the only sound was the deep inhale and exhale of my lungs getting exhausted from trying to breathe the smoky air, and my daughter's cries of pain when she bounced roughly in my arms. I reached the dorm full of women like me an children like my daughter, I tried to pry her out of my arms but she gripped tighter each time, I asked her why this was, she said, 'I am praying mamma. Let me pray.'
She had never prayed before.

I sat on the bed cloth for about 2 minutes before she raised her head from the curled position she had taken up, clinging to my chest like a tumour. I asked her what she prayed for and  she struggled to say just one word out of her small, dry mouth.

'Hope.'

My daughter, who had been lost for so long in the hands of the Nazi, had been able to finally realize the true meaning of faith. 'I am so proud of you.' I whispered to her softly, while stroking back her curls behind her ear. I was about to wipe the tears dripping from her scarred face but she stopped me, 'no, God can wipe away my tears if He is in me, and if we get out of here, mamma, it is then I can wipe my tears. When I know truly that God is in me and in everyone who has love and faith.'

Three days after, my daughter and I escaped the death camp with five others. We were the lucky ones. Before the escape every one of us prayed to God and he had answered. He had given me and my daughter faith, the faith we would have been so very lost without.

K. Newman

The Earthquake

One year, one month, and thirteen days later. If you ask me, it was like yesterday. All of the emotions I felt that day and even the days, weeks and months afterwards, were just as bad as the fist time I felt them. Everyday someone dies and a baby are born, however not everyday does heart-breaking natural disasters occur. This earthquake was the only international wreckage that had ever hit so close to home. The sight was psychologically devastating, watching our houses crumble to bits and seeing innocent people trapped in rubble. The stress on everyone is beyond imagination. Literally everyone I spoke with had themselves, or knew someone who had been injured, lost a home, a loved one or a job. You see things in life and some you forget, but some things are imprinted so deep  that you can see them as clear as day when you close your eyes. I will always remember how the ground and water just opened and swallowed up cars. Luckily everyone in my family survived, I broke some bones rescuing my mum, dragging her out of the ruins of our home. Our family home and joyful memories were destroyed along with thousands of other peoples lives. I was wondering  why is God letting this happen? If God is really omnipotent why didn’t he help us? If God is also omniscient and saw and knew what was going on, why did all those people lose their lives in such a tragic way? Is this a natural disaster or did God make this happen? All these thoughts rapidly rushed through my head. We lost everything in the flood…we had nothing left. 

God is the creator of the Earth. As a Roman Catholic I believe that Jesus suffered, and maybe God wanted to make all those people who got injured or lost their lives to have an understanding of suffering and pain is. God spared my life; he gave me the strength to save my mums life. However I still do not understand the real meaning for the horrific devastating earthquake. I pray everyday for the people who tragically lost their lives. I hope got has let them be in eternal paradise. 

MS

Tsunami

The events that occurred last night replay in my mind, every single minute. One minute my family and I are all smiling; enjoying each other’s company, then tragedy strikes as everything we owned was swept away by the immense waves that crashed down on us. I am and will be forever grateful that my family are still with me today, but why didn't God spare the few possessions we had that had sentimental value to us. God is all powerful but if he is, wouldn't he have the power to stop this tsunami attacking the island? Where is He at a time like this, when we need him the most? The world He made is crumbling, he can see it happening, he is omniscient; surely he can see the horror we are going through as we are trying to pick up the broken pieces of what is left of the disaster.

Is this a test of my faith in God? If it is I must have failed miserably.

MN

A Tsunami in my Village

Yesterday everything changed. My life and the lives of others. There was a Tsunami that rampaged through my village destroying everything in its path. I had no idea how powerful a tsunami could be until I saw it first hand as it engulfed my house and everything else around. In times like this I and I are sure even the unreligious call to God for why such devastation happens. All I was thinking was “Does the Lord have no mercy?”as I watched  people run away and families just sit and pray because they know there is no chance. I know that natural disasters happen to shape the world and it isn’t down to anyone but you would of thought the “all loving” God would spare his so called creation from such horror. I prayed and prayed that minimal lives were lost but throughout the day the number of dead just increased to over 600 people. He knows what hell disasters like this do to people and the pain of grieving so why does he let this happen to so many innocent people? As a Christian my faith in my God has diminished and he has left me to pick up the pieces of my remaining life. No where do I go from here?

RH

The Tsunami Disaster

Why? Why me? Why us? Why my town?
These questions continuously spinning around in my head. I'm sitting here, on top of a large tree trunk, water washing through my bruised toes as I scan the disaster-that is my town- in despair. I've been screaming for my family, for someone to help me for over, what feels like 3days. My smooth brown skin, ruined and covered in mud, dirt, cuts and bruises. What feels like just an ache must be my broken wrist. I cant scream anymore, my throat so sore and swollen. I cant even pull words out let alone cries of help. its probably only been a few hours but the only thing that I have thought about is 'why me?'. What have I done to be here, in this situation. a 15 year old cheerful loving girl now stripped of her happiness that was her family and her life. All I can do is try and think hard about what I may have done to deserve this. What is it I have done to make God so damn angry to force a tsunami wave upon my village; swallow up our homes..schools..parks..land..EVERYTHING. All in less than 2hours. I here about people believing that God isn't real, that he does nothing for us but I have always been the one to object, put that person in their place and reassure them that he is real and one day will reward us with the give of being in eternal paradise! Now, I realise how much of a fool I must have sounded. what God, where is he, and why has he caused this immense disaster upon us. If he is as omnibenevolent and omniscient as I believed he was, why is he doing this to our innocent people? If he has seen all my thoughtful and caring prayers, seen how much believe and loved him why has he done this to me?
WHY?

N.W

Tsnuami

Its been roughly 9 years on and im still feeling the effects. I remember looking out of my bedroom window and seeing a colossal wave travelling towards the beach at a very fast speed. i remember people running, mums holding their babies frantically trying to drive off in there cars. I remember running to get my mum and dad screaming there's a giant wave coming, to young to even know this giant wave had a name. a tsunami. As we frantically ran out of the house, my mum grasping at my hand as we did, i looked back and all i saw was pain and destruction. The wave was getting close and faster, we tried to run faster but we was no match against nature. Finally, my mum let go of my hand and told me to run as fast as i could and get to the highest point. So i did. I never saw my parents again. Luck was on my side that day.
I remember while running looking back and see a wave swallow my whole city, the people i love with all my hearts, it swallowed families, children, everything. All this time the thought going Through my head was: where is God? why is god letting this happen? My family is religious, we pray every night, go to church every week and god is still letting this happen to us. You could say i got a little angry and that anger spurned my running abit and that's what saved me. But i still ask that question to myself all the time. Where is God? Its shook my faith a little you could you say, but i still believe. Thats what my mum and dad would have wanted me to do. You just have to think bad things happened to everyone and you have to trust that one day when you go to heaven God will answer all of your questions.

NC

The Flood

I think about it every hour of every day. The damage it has done cannot be fixed; the flood ruined me and my family not only physically, but emotionally and mentally. I understand stuff like that happens you know? I don’t know. I pray every day, I have strong faith in my God and didn’t think he’d let something like that happen to us. We lost EVERYTHING in that flood... we have nothing left. You’d think that I’d still have my faith after something so tragic. From the beginning signs of the flood right till the end I continuously prayed in my head. I’m so grateful that my family & I are still alive but surely God could’ve done more to spare my family our valuables which could never be replaced? God is all knowing so he obviously knew the flood was going to happen. If he was also all loving why didn’t he stop it? I’m really confused right now. Does God choose what he wants to save and protect and what he doesn’t? I don’t understand. I don’t know where my faith stands right now but it’s not looking good. All I can think of is that God don’t help me and the rest of my village because he didn’t want to. That tells me that God isn’t as loving and caring as he’s made out to be.

DB

The Loss

I watched my house concave into a pile of nothing today, they had said on the news that they had predicted a large tsunami along the coast of California but of course i didn't listen, I made sure everything was normal, the kids still went to school, and I still went to work, and i reassured everyone, my 2 beautiful children and my wonderful wife, that everything was going to be ok.
As usual my ego got to the best of me and I wanted to be the hero, but i didn't do anything when the time came to actually save my family.
and now they're dead, i'm one of the tiny few in Santa Barbara who actually survived this treacherous tsunami.
was God just watching? looking down on us, watching people die and doing nothing? wow and how my family and I have been worshipping him basically our whole lives, and this is how he repays us. me?
we always defended his honour, argued to Atheists that our God is omnipotent and very real and most important all loving, which is him being omnibenevolent. but he didn't seem to show truth to any of that by ruining my home and leaving me to be completely alone and grieving for the rest of my life.
I will never build another family ever, they were my family, my only family. I don't think that i'm going to have a religious funeral for my family as this natural evil that God has let destroy my life.
I don't think I can trust my Lord anymore. this is because he has in some ways completely betrayed me and he seems to no longer be a father to me, because a father would never let this happen to his children.

Woah,  the irony.

S.K