Dear Diary,
Why don't my parents understand? If I love Matthew, and he loves me, what's the big problem? They know he makes me happy, and yet they still persist with my arranged marriage to Masood. When will they ever accept it's about true love now, and no longer about what God I or he believes in?
Part of me wishes I had never met Matthew whilst I was studying in London two years ago, because if I hadn't of I wouldn't be in this situation, but my heart knows he's the 'one', and the only person that can make me truly happy. My parents said before I left Egypt that if I met a Muslim man in England they would totally support me, but the fact I met a white Irish Catholic they're now threatening to disown me? I understand my parents being upset, but I never imagined they would be so angry to the extent of banishing me from making contact with any relative I have.
Today has been the worst day so far since I mentioned Matthew's proposal over a week ago, the same day I returned home to Cairo. I argued with my father for more than eight hours today, which is more than I have in my whole entire lifetime. The constant shouting is starting to get me down, and I am seriously contemplating leaving Egypt for good. My father insists I don't know what I'm doing, and I haven't thought seriously about problems we may face as a couple, such as; what religion our children will be, or where will our marriage take place, but I am past caring. My mother weeps for me too, insisting I think about this long and hard, and that I should marry Masood because that is what my father wants for me. But what about what I want for me? Does that not count? She also said I should realise what a dishonour I am serving to my family. I don't understand. How can love be a dishonour when it is one of the greatest gifts presented to us by Allah?
At this moment, I believe there isn't a right word to describe how I'm feeling, because no word could express the amount of pain and heartache that fills my body and soul. It's as if I've been given an ultimatum, choose my family, or choose Matthew.
What should I do?
Halima
A good effort - well done! You have captured the dispair well.
ReplyDeleteHow is this going to pan out? Perhaps a short comment from the parents about 'why' they feel like this? Is there any chance of compromise?
This is really powerful as the description of her pain is very vivid and emotional. I feel sorry for poor Halima! -MG
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