The Loss

I watched my house concave into a pile of nothing today, they had said on the news that they had predicted a large tsunami along the coast of California but of course i didn't listen, I made sure everything was normal, the kids still went to school, and I still went to work, and i reassured everyone, my 2 beautiful children and my wonderful wife, that everything was going to be ok.
As usual my ego got to the best of me and I wanted to be the hero, but i didn't do anything when the time came to actually save my family.
and now they're dead, i'm one of the tiny few in Santa Barbara who actually survived this treacherous tsunami.
was God just watching? looking down on us, watching people die and doing nothing? wow and how my family and I have been worshipping him basically our whole lives, and this is how he repays us. me?
we always defended his honour, argued to Atheists that our God is omnipotent and very real and most important all loving, which is him being omnibenevolent. but he didn't seem to show truth to any of that by ruining my home and leaving me to be completely alone and grieving for the rest of my life.
I will never build another family ever, they were my family, my only family. I don't think that i'm going to have a religious funeral for my family as this natural evil that God has let destroy my life.
I don't think I can trust my Lord anymore. this is because he has in some ways completely betrayed me and he seems to no longer be a father to me, because a father would never let this happen to his children.

Woah,  the irony.

S.K